June 15 , 2002
Enrob Annual Report 2001.
A review of endless impossibilities.Enrob sure took its time releasing its 2001 annual report. It arrived in the Fortnightly's mailbox in May, a good month or two later than other Fortune 500 companies released their 2001 financial performance reviews.
Tardy or not, this annual report's revolutionary flavor is creating a buzz in the financial community. And we're not ashamed to admit the report made a splash with us.
No more photos of balding, old men in dull gray suits. This report is replete with explosive facts, figures (see below), and photos never seen before. Enrob thought it best to reveal this startling information on its own terms and in one lump sum, rather than see a negative spin of events drip from the pens of the press on a daily basis.
We strongly recommend you take a closer look at Enrob's 2001 annual report, an audacious new breed of corporate transparency. In his letter to shareholders, Enrob acting CEO Vance Boomer sets the tone: "Again and again, people ask me to explain how exactly Enrob makes its money. I try to be polite when I hear this irritating question, but it's symptomatic of 1980s inside-the-box thinking that has no place in the New Economy."
Deeper into the report, Enrob explains that a business model offering maximum benefits to society and its shareholders is commonly known as a state-sanctioned monopoly.
"Theoretically the Justice Department opposes this, but in practice it intervenes mainly in cases in which a corporation such as Microsoft is too arrogant to pay protection money," Enrob says. "At Enrob, we never make that mistake. As major-league donors to political campaigns and the White House, we enjoy thinly veiled groveling from legislators, enabling us to dominate most markets without fear of inconveniences such as antitrust action."
In a unique arrangement, Enrob tapped ReganBooks, a New York City imprint of HarperCollins, as publisher for its Enrob Annual Report 2001. Two outside authors, Charles Platt and Erico Narita, were contracted to assemble the report. Unlike most corporate annual reports, you have to fork over $10.95 to get a copy of Enrob's. The report's brutal honesty makes it well worth the cost. Log on to www.reganbooks.com to get your copy.
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